scents: leather oils and ashy smokiness

I had a terrible unproductive week. I spent days in bed, watching Netflix comedy features trying to laugh but pfttt comedy reveals only the tragedy of humanity so that didn't work, wanting but not being able to cry. I hated everything. I binged ate salty, unhealthy food and felt more terrible. Last night my Mum called, asking about the numbness I have been feeling on my left arm and if eating the supplements she suggested helped it. It did, but I also accidentally revealed the emotional numbness and my in-bed state to her. I could picture the start of her worry and stopped myself from going on further.

What beauty-related thing can I possibly write about this terrible state? Two perfume combination I put on in the morning throughout the week, with hopes that it will make me feel better but unfortunately didn't. The combination of these scents were indeed beautiful. I have perfume on my wrist, on my neck, sometimes in my hair so my pillow gets a good deal of chance to absorb these scents as I was hating myself for being in bed since noon. When I woke up this morning, literally breathing in these scents on my pillow (was sleeping on my stomach) and finding the willpower to get up and do work and not worry my Mum as I just did last night, I wanted to write about them.

A month ago, I shopped for some perfume on femme fatale and got my hands on Solstice Scents, a brand I discovered from Scents and Sea Spray. The scents I chose were Black Leather, Red Lace and Smoky Mountain Mellow. I was curious about leather and smoke notes and I have never had any in my perfume collection. It was probably smarter if I ordered a sample to test if I like these notes, but the thing about having to pay International Shipping is thinking "What if I like it and then have to pay shipping again." So I paid the $20 for each 5ml. Totally irrational btw.

Anyways, both scents made me do the wrinkly forehead thing, followed by a 40-60 chance between "hmm this is surprising" and "maybe I don't like this" face. They were new notes to my body chemistry and I am still trying to figure them out. Black Leather, Red Lace is said to be an erotic scent with a twist of masculine edge with its mix of amber, vanilla and leather. I get a strong leather oiliness on application and it doesn't dissipate for the next 2 hours, with a hint of amber on the skin afterwards, no vanilla whatsoever. Suffice to say, it was uncomfortable to wear. Smoky Mountain Mellow is more complex. It's expectedly very smoky on application and then turns into...something I'm not good enough of a perfume reviewer to write about. I grew up in a tropical climate without the chimneys, the cold of winter and the scents from fireside in a tropical forest is different than that of a Northern forest, I would imagine. What I'm trying to say is I don't recognise or understand the description Solstice Scents provided but I don't have an alternative description for it. In short, it's currently just ashy smoke in my head. It is slightly more organic than BLRL, and by that I mean my nose can accept how it is on my skin, but still an uncomfortable scent to wear.

In order to make them wearable, I opted to mix two scents I knew my nose is familiar with.

The first combination is BLRL and Sarah Jessica Parker Lovely, a distinct white floral perfume which made me discover that I am most comfortable with white floral as a daily scent. It reminds me of a very soft, sheer silk blouse (not that any blouse ever smelled that way, just that lightness y'know), not too powdery and lasts for about 3 to 4 hours. I start with BLRL and then sprayed Lovely, and oh boy they turn into something else. There is something amazing about combining the oily undertones of leather with a lighter floral, they tone each other down into something more earthy and animalistic. Was it a more pronounced amber that I got? I'm not sure. I just knew it smelled amazing.

The next combination is SMM and one of the longest perfume I have in my collection, The Body Shop Vanilla EDT. Vanilla is not a complex scent, it smells exactly like vanilla extract. It doesn't last that well on me and because it is not a strong scent, SMM definitely overpowered it. I got a more acceptable ashy scent, almost homey feel i.e. like if you spray a fall-inspired non-gourmand-vanilla air freshener in your living room. While I am not complaining, I don't think they are as incredible as BLRL & Lovely. So I'm gonna keep on mixing SMM with something else to experiment.

Part of me feels a bit sad that I discovered BLRL & Lovely at a low point in my life. But another part of me took this as a challenge, wanting to live through it. Life's hard, I get my ups and down. What if I get to go through both with this scent, wouldn't that be something? I am currently planning for a post-dissertation-pre-adulthood trip (hopefully an experience on the ups side of life) this coming summer and I know I'll be bringing these two. Also for any concerned reader (if I have any reader that is!), I feel slightly accomplished as I write this blogpost, so thank you for reading. I hope the day gets more productive for me and may next week be a better week. (It has to be, I pray that it will be. I've got my exams.)

Lipstick Diaries #5 & #6 : Secret Key Lip Tint in Chic Burgundy and Pale Pink

Since I started my lipstick diaries, I try to wear one lipstick per week but it has been difficult. On some days, I just don't feel like wearing the designated colour. On other days, it looks ill-fitting with my outfit for that day. Especially as a woman who wears a headscarf, the ill-balanced lip-hijab combination is really obvious. So on days that I didn't wear my lipstick diary colour, I would wear one of these two lip products I am reviewing.

My purchase of the Secret Key Sweet Glam Lip Tint was definitely an attempt to dupe Dior Addict Lip Glow, which I have a lot of reservations to purchase. I don't feel like I deserve a Dior anything, I save it for my first bonus of my first big-girl job (currently unemployed, tsk.) Moreover, it is a glorified chapstick, let's not kid ourselves. I am however still a fan of the "changes according to your body temperature!" concept in lip products, because across all brands, I always end up with a nice deep-pink-almost-berry lips. There is something magical about this colour for my complexion, I can't explain it!

The most natural thing to do is to compare the ingredients of the SK Lip Tint to Dior Lip Glow. I am no chemist, so I can't compare each ingredient, but I did pick up the presence of Lanolin in SK and not in Dior. Lanolin, known for its extremely moisturising properties, is not vegan although Sheikh Google does not raise any doubt over its halal status (since it is derived from a living sheep, instead of a dead one.)

Indeed, SK Lip Tints are exceptionally moisturising. I bought two colours: Chic Burgundy and Baby Pink. I bought Chic Burgundy first, fell in love with how comfortable it was and purchased Baby Pink.

The packaging is clearly inspired by Dior Lip Glow. I have never seen an actual tube of the Lip Glow (do I even dare approach the counter? Nope) but based on my Google search, Lip Glow appears to be skinnier. A clear difference is the bullet: SK has sharp-edged and pointy bullet, Dior's is round-edged and not pointy. On me, Chic Burgundy (middle) is a berry-plum rather than a burgundy, while Baby Pink (right) is clear.

Baby Pink on top, Chic Burgundy below.

Upon application, SK Lip Tint has a shiny, almost oily finish. However, it dries down quickly and stain my lips to the aforementioned deep pink colour. The difference is Chic Burgundy leaves a deeper stain than Baby Pink. It feels moisturising at least for the next 4 hours. SK advertised the Lip Tint to be long-lasting, which is true if all you do is drink water. Below, I took a picture after a 3-course-dinner I had and the stain remained only on my outer lips. 

Chic Burgundy after dinner

I really love these two lip tints and foresee myself using it often. It never clashes with what I wear and easy to apply.

L-R: Chic Burgundy, Pale Pink

I am rating both Chic Burgundy and Pale Pink a 5/5.

That being said, I am still very interested to get the Dior Lip Glow because... dupes are simply unsatisfying, reflecting auxiliary beauty's note on dupes. Now, I did condition my purchase on being employed + good enough to get a bonus, so there's quite a hurdle to get this glorified chapstick, fortunately (for my wallet!) 

Lipstick Diaries #4: Holika Holika Waterdrop Tint Stick in Pomegranate

Since my last post, the weeks have been pretty hectic. I have one more academic week to go through before I fly back home! I am beyond excited :D

Anyways, lipsticks. Earlier this year, I got on a Korean makeup shopping spree. It started with Hao's 2016 lip favourites where she mentioned Etude House Dear My Blooming Lips Talk Chiffon in BE109. It looked like a flattering warm beige-nude and it certainly looked pretty on her! I also read the full review of her Etude House lipsticks and decided that I wanted to try it out. Now, you don't just buy one lipstick when you shop from eBay, tsk. Along with this lipstick, I also got a bunch of other lip products and eyeshadows. Wait, what – eyeshadows? Yes, I am very into reading about eye makeup these days and hopefully, I can get my shit together to share with you some of my experimentation (by that I mean my blending mishaps and not green-mermaid eyeshadows. Not yet.)

Anyways, today's review is not about an Etude House lipstick (will be reviewed later, btw) but a tint by Holika Holika. It is their Waterdrop Tint Stick in 02 Pomegranate. I remembered a review on Youtube mentioning the peculiar texture of this lip tint and it has been on my mind ever since, so I just added it into my shopping cart.

Indeed, it is an interesting product. It was not the solid gel-like texture of the tint, rather how it felt when I applied it on that amped up the cool factor. It's like putting ice directly on your lips but it doesn't melt or make a watery mess. It's cold and it's hydrating. Extremely comfortable and perfect for days when my lips are chapped and dry but I don't want to wear just lip balm. Seriously, the cooling sensation is so cool!!!

Now, the colour. I don't own an orange lip product and have never been particularly attracted to the colour. I was also never into the Korean trend of gradient, younger-looking lips. I have weird mixed feelings about making my lips look like what's advertised as "just-eaten a fresh fruit look." I can't help but imagine that I've eaten an asam boi popsicle instead of the healthier alternative of fresh fruits. Don't get me wrong, I love popsicles as much as the next person, but I feel like I shouldn't because I ate them in secret as a kid. My mum did forbid us from buying it (sugar + questionable water quality + anything preserved chemically was not allowed!) but once in a while, I rebelled.

It really is an in-my-face colour. When I first applied the tint as I would with any lipstick – at least 2 layers – I was so surprised and horrified. It was blindingly bright. I rubbed some of the colour off but it had left a stain in spite of being on my lips for less than 2 minutes, at most. The next time I wore the tint, I dabbed it and focused more on my inner lips, but it was not a drastic noticeable gradient effect. I also applied lip balm on top of the lip tint for extra hydration when my lips are extra dry. In the picture above, L-R: full swipe and then removed (left a nice opaque tint); dabbed; dabbed + lip balm. I was also inspired to pair my orange lips with orange elements in my headscarf or shirt. 

Close up: dabbed, dabbed + lip balm.

The Waterdrop has a matte-finish after the stain has set on the lips. It feels slightly sticky but not for long. There is a scent, but it doesn't linger for long too. I assumed it smells like pomegranate, but I can't be sure because I forgot how pomegranate smelled like, actually! I would describe the scent as sugary citrus.

L-R: Maybelline Matte in Siren in Scarlet, Holika Holika Pomegranate, Burt's Bees Tinted Lipbalm in Hibiscus, Secret Key Sweet Glam Tint Glow in Chic Burgundy. Like I mentioned, I don't own any other orange lip products. It has similar finish to my other tinted lip balm/lip tint and obviously is an orange. Next to Siren in Scarlet, which is a neutral-leaning-cool red for me, it appears to be a neutral, albeit very bright kind of orange.

I do love this tint stick and would consider purchasing another Waterdrop if it comes in a clear colour (no-colour?). I am just not attracted to any of the other current colours they have. My rating for the tint stick is 4/5. If there exists a Waterdrop tint stick in clear no-colour, it would definitely be a 5/5.

Lipstick Diaries #3: NARS Audacious in Anna

NARS Audacious lipstick in Anna has been in my collection for almost a year. I actually bought it on Depop from someone who didn't like the colour. Unlike the US, people can't return make-up here in the UK (not possible in Malaysia too) so selling it online is the only possible way to not throw away unwanted make-up (or donate it, of course). One woman's wrong colour.. can be my type of colour. I would describe Anna as a cool-toned deep rose, leaning toward purple. NARS officially calls it a dusty mauve (i.e. what rose-purple is?) while Temptalia calls it a neutral pink.

In direct sunlight (left), the colour appears slightly blue-toned pink on me, although in real life, dusty mauve is a more apt description. With lighter application, my natural warmth dominates the cool tone, expectedly.

Sometimes, I forget how pigmented the NARS Audacious lipsticks are and while I have my early morning lamentations"ugh do I have to work today!!!" I unconsciously apply like 7 million layers of the lipstick. (and by 7 mil I actually mean two layers.) I wouldn't say this is a problem per se, it's just that the pigment is SO THERE it gives me a more "heavy" look and actually feels heavy too. I mean, look at that cup-transfer, people!

Side note, it is SO HARD to get the right colour to show. I truly understand why people go to extreme lengths with lighting, camera equipments and editing product shots now.

The Audacious lipsticks are creamy and dries to a matte finish. They are more creamy than the Maybelline creamy mattes (my review of Magnetic Magenta here) and less likely to be patchy during application and re-application. With Anna, I prefer a good dab-and-go rather than full-swipe to avoid the "heavy" look and lipstick feel. It doesn't stain and comes off when I drink/eat, but it wears away so gracefully, worthy of the high price tag it has. I'm not going to fangirl about the magnetic clasp here because at this point, it is given that we all LOVE that satisfying magnetic clasp!

The green coordination-composition of these two pictures were totally unplanned! Anyways, we have here Anna pictured in front of my window on the left and at a more shaded part of my room on the right. Both dusty mauve and neutral pink is appropriate to describe Anna's colour.

Here is Anna in comparison to my other deep pinks. From left to right, NARS Audacious in Anna, KIKO Smart Shade in 913, Topshop in Devotion and Revlon Matte Balm in Sultry. Because my lips are quite pigmented, they aren't necessarily "deep" as in "dark", rather they make my lips look more defined and bold. I hesitate to call them my MLBB  colours since I obviously look like I wear lipstick with them, but they make me look put together in the most natural way.

I am rating Anna a 3.5/5. While I like the lipstick and the colour is okay, I actually rarely wear Anna. It is rather odd-looking on me, perhaps because of its underlying tone. However, as I look at the pictures I took for this blog, it is definitely better than an okay and I hope to wear it more often.

Lipstick Diaries #2: Magnetic Magenta

Someone asked me how I am dealing with Week 5 Blues. I answered wittily, "Oh I'm blue alright. Blue and bruised from the anxiety of exams!" I didn't even notice it was week 5. I recognise my weeks by what submission is when on which week and I just use "this", "next" or "next next" week with reference to present. Anyways, my subconscious seemed to know that I needed picking up. That is the only reason I can think of for picking a bright lipstick for this week, Maybelline's Magnetic Magenta.

My decision to purchase this lipstick was impulsive. It was bought either November or December last year, a colour that is definitely more suited for spring although I didn't intend for it to be a seasonal colour. I have been looking for a good bright pink for a while, something to perk up the complexion and do the loud, bright, happy thing without me going to a bright yellow headscarf. Although, now that I think of it, fuchsia lips + yellow hijab + white shirt + jeans would be an awesome look. I was initially inspired by NARS Schiap, the It Lipstick a couple of years ago. Then I forgot about it.

My interest rekindled again. It was perhaps the gloomy cold rainy days, it was perhaps my homesickness, it was perhaps just my unhealthy shopping habits -- I caved in and bought a bright pink lipstick. Not a NARS, though. I went for a drugstore option.

I used fuchsia and magenta interchangeably, although my quick Google search tells me they are different. I am positive that the lipstick is a fuchsia instead of magenta, so initially I thought Magnetic Magenta is misleading. What I love about the colour, regardless, is how suitably cool it looks on me. Dare I say, in some instances, it is almost warm (left picture below)? In that sense, I think it is indeed more of a magenta than fuchsia.

The colour IS a huge deal for me this week. I kid you not, I felt alive the couple of days I wore it (other days it's just my good 'ol lipbalm) for two reasons: 1) it is so bright for me, I just had to be alive for it and 2) I do feel slightly conscious over how it is not my usual neutral lip colour, but in a good way. The times I saw the look from others, "Is she really wearing that bright of a colour in this weather?!", I nodded in my head, "Yes brother, let's beat this shitty weather."  I enjoy feeling this way. Do people with their shit together feel this way too?

Top: less direct sunlight, Bottom: good light

I agree with the general opinion of the blogosphere over the lovely creamy texture of Maybelline's Matte lipsticks.  They are so comfortable and easy to wear. Magnetic Magenta lasts quite well too, although has a tendency to wear out much quicker on the inner lips. But the lipstick left some stain on my lips that it is not too noticeable, at least not in webcam photos! (Also, I look like Nobita with these glasses and man I've got CHEEKS.)

I don't have any other bright pink lipsticks to compare Magnetic Magenta to, so here is a lone swatch + my cool henna I got the same week I wore it.

Overall, I'm rating Magnetic Magenta 4/5.

Lipstick Diaries #1: KIKO Unlimited Stylo lipstick in Warm Rose

It's February and a tad bit too late to post on resolutions, but better late than never, they say. I hope nothing but survival this year. It's all I think about. Pass my graduate course, get a job, not get depressed. My aim this year with this blog is to post on a regular basis. While there are numerous challenges that I can commit myself to, evidently from last year's un-updated project pan, I don't think working on the same products and writing a progress report on them monthly was something I can commit to. I'm also not a seasonally-motivated person so I can't be bothered to have a make-up capsule as a project, or a mini project pan (Finish X by X sort of a thing.)

A project that I feel I am interested to invest my time into completing is Bad Outfit Great Lipstick's Lipstick Diaries. It's a great way to work one's way into using all of their lipsticks, especially if that someone (me) has a lot of them. So, I will attempt to use one lipstick from my collection for a couple of days and write about them. A bit of warning, I think I won't be able to write just about lipsticks, though. I have always preferred a blogging + beauty style, not just reviews. I can't promise the things I write alongside my reviews are spectacularly interesting, so if anyone skips that part completely, no offence is taken, of course.

Enough babble. Now, let's begin!

I was visiting a friend a couple of weekends ago and visited a nearby KIKO store to check out their 30% sale. Of course, it's never that easy -- you gotta spend £30 to qualify for said sale. I ain't spending that much money! My intention was to get some of their Smart Shade lipsticks. I tried one lipstick from the range last year and loved it. Unfortunately, none were seen in the store (and only one shade is available on their website), I am sure they are discontinuing the range :( So instead, I went on a swatch fest with my friend and we talked about how I got introduced to KIKO, since she's never even heard of it. (The blogosphere, of course.)

I ended up getting their new Unlimited Stylo lipstick in 05 Warm Rose.  In the above picture, it is the only swatch on the third row and the swatch above it. Yes, I swatched it twice on my hand and even on my lips!

The design of the lipstick's packaging is sleek, making the lipstick look more expensive than they actually are. It's plastic and the clasp is pretty secure, although a bit janky (is this a word?) at times.

Forgiving lighting vs. Unforgiving lighting

I adore the colour of the lipstick. Instead of warm, I think it appears to be a white-based pink neutral on me, especially in conditions where the light is unforgiving (i.e. direct sunlight). In the dimmed lighting of the library, it looks warmer. The lipstick application was creamy and opaque in one swipe, and in fact one of its selling point for me was how creamy it applied when I swatched it in store. However, when my lips are dry and flaky, expectedly the lipstick becomes crumbly but it was not the worst of all the dry-crumbly textures I've had to experience. Alas, I can't hope a tube of lipstick to do any magic if the fault is actually my dry, chapped lips, no?

In the library vs. in front of the windows

I would call the finish to be velvet matte, it has no shine at all. In fact, I noticed it to turn into more of a powdery matte finish after about an hour or so. The lasting power is not that great, maybe 4 hours with constant coffee/water drinking? I personally don't mind this with my lipsticks, reapplication is a ritual I actually enjoy. Talking about reapplication, I didn't like how the lipstick reapplied on itself after some hours of wear. It is unattractively patchy. My trick is apply lip balm first, then the lipstick.

L-R: KIKO Unlimited Stylo in Warm Rose, KIKO 414 Mauve,
Revlon Lip Butter 096 Macaroon, Revlon Matte Balm 205 Elusive.

Compared to my other lipsticks, Warm Rose is most similar to Revlon Matte Balm in Elusive, but a bit deeper and warmer. It is not a my lips but better colour (KIKO 414 Mauve is) but it is a very natural pink for everyday use.

As for ratings, I'm gonna go for a simple scoring out of 5 points for this project and Warm Rose would be a 3.5/5.

Rebel and Crosswires (a Russian novel?)

Hello, again!

I don't have any good reason for not blogging other than I've been busy with school and lazy to do anything else. To be honest with you, I've been lazy even with school. I've never actually had a burnout in my entire life. But I think I'm nearing that state now. It's pretty damn depressing.

I couldn't process the event. I begin my graduate course with a solid state of mind and mission (to continue to a PhD), but several months in, I realised that state was not as solid as I thought. The usual suspect contributes : that inevitable "I'm really not good enough for this." The unexpected suspect : my realisation of how I didn't understand the Ivory Tower Academia and my discomfort with it. I noticed a certain type of... arrogance? I hesitate to use that label; let's just call it the environment of concentrating alpha-types best-minded people, competitively trying to solve the Big Questions of Our Time and win the Nobel prize. Whatever label it is, it made me as uncomfortable as reading 4chan or more relevantly, ejmr. (I am aware that both sites have trolls and academia doesn't, but I can't help feeling this similar discomfort feeling, ok. Not gonna theorise on why.) Also if you're in academia, I mean no offence! This is definitely local to me and my "holy shit I ain't prepared for this environment."

Anyways, what have I been up to? Still buying tonnes of stuff and totally forgot at some point, I told myself I should be on a low-buy/no-buy! Hah, how unsurprisingly weak :/ Well, that means I've got more material to talk about on this blog, eh? But the complete opposite for this post. Instead of the new stuff I have, I'm gonna review the only two MAC lipsticks that I own.

I was inspired to blog again by the particular pairing of these photos, both posted separately on my Instagram. They are reflective to my depressingly bleak state of mind and my future unemployment post-Masters -- meaning I gotta work the bleakness out of my system by talking about things I love, i.e. the intended purpose of this post. By the way, I'm wearing MAC's Rebel and generously edited the photo, on top of the A5 vsco filter. Yah, I'm that girl.

MAC Rebel has a cult following for a reason. It looks good on everyone and including yours truly. I would describe it as a flattering berry shade, leaning to pink with a neutral tone and has a satin finish. I have never felt it to be too warm or too cool for my complexion. (Talking about complexion, my face is totally beige, unlike my yellow neck -- but I never have to worry because I cover my neck when I have the full-hijab on! #hijabiPerks. Anyways, another discovery in my Understand-Thy-Shade adventure.)

dabbed vs full-on application

I much prefer a dab-smush -- dab lipstick, work it in with fingers (smush?smoosh?) -- application. It's much more natural and definitely my-lips-but-better colour. Healthy skin, healthy glow kinda feel, y'know? The formula is not terrible, it's decently moisturising but can cling on to any dry patches on my lips. When I apply Rebel to full opacity, however, I don't like it as much. It's a wonderful colour, but I think it requires more effort in my make-up. Smoky eyes, perhaps, but we know I never do those (don't know how to and there hasn't been an occasion where I needed to be full glam.) The colour may appear uneven, at times. So it needs work.

The other MAC lipstick I own is Crosswires, a cremesheen formula. I bought Crosswires with Rebel, actually, and both were on sale. I have heard of the lipstick often (not sure if it has a cult status, though) and I was curious about the formula.

dabbed vs full-on application

I would describe the colour as peachy-coral on my complexion. While in pictures I think I look fine, I actually don't enjoy wearing this colour. I just don't like coral colours. I hated the formula. I din't think it was that creamy and rather than a sheen, it looks waxy to me. Not a good look. I'm sure the formula might perform differently with other colour, but it puts me off considering other cremesheen formulas altogether.

Rebel, Crosswires

L-R : Wet n Wild Cherry Bomb, Wet n Wild Ravin' Raisin, Milani Matte Love,
KIKO 414 Mauve, MAC Rebel, MAC Crosswires

I was trying to compare Rebel to my other "berry" in my collection in like 2 minutes. If I were to layer Wet n Wild Ravin' Raisin with Milani Matte Love, or KIKO 414 Mauve, I would perhaps get the same effect as Rebel. Clearly Wet n Wild Cherry Bomb is not a berry, but the vampy red serves as a vampiness comparison to Rebel (it's not that vampy, it seems. Why and when did I get this idea that Rebel is a vampy shade, to begin with?) You can also see how un-matte the MAC colours are.

I have never been drawn to MAC lipsticks. They're expensive and I never feel welcomed by any MAC sales associates, ever. Having tried both lipsticks, I am not tempted to try more, except MAC's Plumful, the supposed toned down version of Rebel. As I am clearly a fan of the berry-pink colour and the MLBB look, the lustre finish of Plumful might suit my needs better. Aside form that, no more MAC for me.

Book Review : No More Dirty Looks

I doubt my ability to succinctly review books. However, I've always wanted to be able to share what I think and feel about what I've read. I've long felt it's not my place to share what I think of a book because well, what do I know? But I am a reader, and I know a thing or two about something so my thoughts can't be that useless. Moreover, I am mostly conscious of my feelings after I read something (just ask any of my friends, I always recommend books based on how I feel after reading them, not particularly because of the ~literary value~ or ~themes~ or ~complexity~) so that kind of consciousness ought to mean something, right?

Anyways, I thought this blog would be an interesting platform for book reviews, especially beauty or skincare-related ones. 

Now, on to No More Dirty Looks. It was recommended by Mercedes in this video and based on online reviews, it has been recommended as the go-to for people who are interested to transition into green beauty.

Also guys, I discovered this yoghurt with aloe vera and it's life-changing.
At a whooping RM4 for 100g, it made me cry!

The authors, Siobhan O'Connor and Alexandra Spunt begin by explaining why they're going green: they realised their hair is only nice for a couple of hours after a trip to the salon. They were curious why, Googled here and there and what do you know, all these chemicals give you very temporary shine and prettiness, but long-lasting damage to the hair. The journalists that they are, they then investigated further into not just hair products and basically, this book is the product of that investigation. The book has sections dedicated to hair, face, make-up, body, nails and diet.

Each section has interesting and entertaining addendums; zapping stretch marks, detoxing highlights, interview with make-up artists. These are bits that reveal the "human" aspect of this book, something to gauge relevance for the readers. Then expectedly, you are told the bad things (chemicals), why they're bad, briefly the debates on whether they are actually bad and then the authors share green (better) alternatives.

I was skeptical before I read this book. I expected a holier-than-thou and a lot more fear-mongering, but to my pleasant surprise, there's minimum amount of both. I also expected snarky "Now you probably don't wanna put that in your body!"comments, which occurs, but not frequent enough to annoy me. However, I am frustrated by the fact that everything apparently causes cancer and I'm not sure if the authors are to blame for this. We are exposed to lot of chemicals that is associated to cancer. 

I enjoyed the discussion regarding the laws that regulate the use of chemicals in the beauty industry. The minimum control by the FDA, the monopoly of big beauty companies in the industry and the lobbying practices. It was eye-opening, although in my opinion, it is far from comprehensive. The authors would like readers to be aware of the private interests of conventional beauty giants and that critical consumption means you do your homework to research the safety of ingredients and credibility of advertising claims in products. 

But my biggest problem after reading this book boils down to how I feel after reading it. In spite of the minimum annoyance with regards to the fear-mongering of all the toxins that exist in everything we use, something bugs me. I simply can't relate to the context of beauty habits and consumptions and the suggested greener solutions. One would argue, if a book is based on facts, then my argument of relatibility has no value.

In my opinion, it does. I feel guilty boxing people into "audience this book is applicable to," and myself into "this ain't for me." It is understandable for writers to have an intended audience and I think the book is intended for modern women in the developed world, with access to Whole Foods and cares about feeling conventionally beautiful. I can't shake off the "valley girl" or the "ethical chic New Yorker" feel of this book. Essentially, I feel excluded by the witty addendum shared by the authors. I don't care for salons, I don't have access to most of the recommended products, I don't believe using food-stuff on my face is better (the Hirons school of thought: food stuff should be in the kitchen) and I am not a modern white woman. Let me be clear, I have no problem with salons, Whole Foods, avocados or anyone from any race. I am simply sharing the exclusion I felt from this book, and this fact alone reduces the utility of No More Dirty Looks for me.

Moreover, in spite of sharing facts about the chemicals present in products, I personally don't feel these are facts I don't already know or things I can't Google myself. My exposure to applied statistics has been mostly to empirical economics (context: I am an economist-in-training) and not the scientific use of statistics (e.g.: in medical statistics), but I live by "correlation =/= causation". Everything is associated to cancer, and referencing online articles that X "causes" cancer is not convincing enough. 

I think the book is a fun read in itself, but not something revolutionary if you're already exposed to the harms of fragrance and alcohol in skincare and cosmetics. I would recommend it if you can get a cheap copy. Otherwise, it's just like reading another beauty blog, which by the way No More Dirty Looks is a blog (I haven't read it prior to reading the book).

I would like to end on a positive note. While I don't feel I am the intended audience, it did spark some interest in me to be critical about the very economy of the conventional beauty industry and not as a consumer, but as an economist. It's an interesting industry as a case study, and I'm not just talking about the Lipstick effect. Like I mentioned, I enjoyed the discussion about regulations the most. Believe it or not, when Brexit happened, I was wondering if the UK will now have different versions of sunscreen than the Europeans. Will it be similar to American ones? Of course, I wonder this while I stock my skincare drawer with more Asian sunscreens.

I hope this review is not unnecessarily harsh, I only intend to be honest. More reviews to come, hopefully!

Stuff I brought home, Summer make-up capsule, and No Buy 2016

I went from short uncreative titles (X Lipstick, Facial Oil) to longer ones. Development! There are 3 layers to this post. I will be home for a month during my summer break, and as I was packing for my stay, I have essentially created my own summer make-up capsule. This got me into thinking that I might do a seasonal capsule for my make-up and rotate them every 3 months since I do have a large collection. I then realised how large this collection is, especially for someone who recently got into make-up about 3 years ago. It is slightly overwhelming! Whilst packing, I decluttered some of my make-up items konmari style, asking (1) "Do you make me happy?" as well as (2)"Are you needed because I was curious about something?" and if you are, you're staying. I gave myself the additional latter question because I need to know if I can make green eyeshadows work for me or if there is such a thing as the perfect purple blush. Given my sizable collection, I have also decided on a No-Buy till the end of this year, except for some items that I am considering to purchase because of curiosity reasons, following statement (2). This capsule mainly focus on everyday looks that can stand the Malaysian heat. Additionally, I've also got my graduation and 2 weddings to consider.

This post is totally inspired by Auxiliary Beauty, by the way. Except my towels are all still in the wash, so I'm using my favourite headscarf, which is the coolest ombre blue! (Unfortunately, not obvious in any of the pictures.)

I have packed my make up into four (!!!) bags: tools (magenta), eyes (light pink), complexion (black) and lips (well, LIPS.) This is excluding skin care. 

Base

L-R: Maybelline Instant Age Rewind in Fair, Collection Lasting Perfection concealer in Medium, a bubble-wrapped Avril Organics face powder in Nude, EX1 Delete concealer in D100, EX1 Invisiwear foundation in F200, bareMinerals Complexion Rescue in 03 Buttercream, Borjois CC Cream in Light Beige, EX1 Pure Crushed Minerals foundation in M100, Kiko Matte Fusion Powder in 04 Honey.

The Maybeline concealer, Collection concealer and EX1 mineral foundation are close to being empty, I think I can finish them before my flight home in late July. (Update: I didn't!) My pressed powder has about 1/4 product left so I brought an extra powder just in case I ran out. EX1 Invisiwear in F200 is slightly dark for me, even in the summer so it's gonna be mixed with my CC cream/tinted moisturiser.

L-R: Max Factor FaceFinity Primer, Make Up Academy Undress Your Skin Liquid Glow in Oyster, (Top) Sleek Contour Kit in Medium, Sleek Blush in Antique, KIKO bronzer in 01 Natural Tan, (Bottom) Illamasqua cream blush in Zygomatic, Nyx blush in Taupe, Borjois bronzing primer, Make Up Academy cream blush in Framboise Shake, (below Borjois) ELF Tickle Pink.

Eyes

From top & L-R: In the custom palette, where I store my MUA and ELF blushes as well, are eyeshadows depotted from Make Up Revolution Iconic Pro 1 palette (I didn't label the shades, but based on Google, they should be from top & L to R; Need, Must, Fade, Too Grey, Stage), Jane Iradele Daytime eyeshadow, Maybelline Colour Tattoo in Creme de Rose and On and On Bronze, the Balm Put a Lid on It eyeshadow primer, Seventeen Statusque and Rose Quartz, B. Smoky Eye pencil in Grey, Etude House eyebrow in Grey, Stilla smudge stick in Lionfish, MaxFactor 200 Calorie Mascara in Black, Covergirl Super Sizer in Brown Black, ELF Lash Tint mascara in Black Noir, ELF brow gel, Make Up Academy eyeshadow primer. Not pictured, a tube of unopened Avril Organics mascara.

(Update: I decided to ditch my custom palette eventually. I don't think I'll wear anything from it and I needed more space in my luggage!)

These eyeshadows are quite recent purchases and I am very excited to play around with wearing more eyeshadows. I know they're only neutral colours but from someone who barely wears anything on the eyes, this is pretty exciting. Most of my mascaras are about to dry out (hence I brought along a new tube of mascara) so I think I'll finish using all of them by the end of summer. I'm also throwing out the MUA eyeshadow primer, actually. It does not work at all, and while I've only tested the Balm's primer several times, I think I like it much more.

Lips

L-R: (Top) Avril Organics in Saumon and Nude, Wet n Wild Bare it All and In the Flesh, NARS Audacious in Jane and Anna, Revlon Really Red, ELF Smoochy Spice. (Bottom) Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Honey, Avril Organics lip liner in Nude, Essence lip pencil in Femme Fatale.

I wore Jane for my graduation, expectedly. On most days, I switch between Honey and Saumon since they are very neutral, easy colours on me. Similarly to eyeshadows, I rarely wear lipliners and I don't think I needed them. But I like the potential longevity of lipliners and just reapplying chapsticks, so I got myself the Nude lipliner from Avril. Although realistically speaking, I foresee no occasion that I will wear red lipstick, a girl has gotta have all the options amirite?! 

Tools

Do I have a problem? Yes.. and No. I love brushes. In fact, I get more excited for brushes sometimes, more than make up itself. But it's pretty hard to sell the "I love makeup brushes!" when I go cheap with my tools. (As I write this, I think to myself, why do I justify passion only with spending more for it? Does going cheap cheapens the love?) I am here to admit I bought most of my brushes from Ebay as sets (beginners LOVE sets, don't they? Well, I do!) and they're affordable for my budget. Only recently I got into buying the Real Techniques dupes, but for the past 2 years, I've been using strictly no-brand synthetic brushes and I have no problem with this. Even when I bought dupes (especially Real Techniques), I feel that they're good enough! This is the decision I have made with regards to purchasing the tools for my make up application, make what you will of that. 

But just in case anyone is curious, in the First picture I have Wilko Face powder brush, RT face expert brush (the real one), Ebay stippling brush (set) and essential brush (set) and blush brush (no link, I bought it a year ago so I don't have it in my purchase history, unfortunately). In the Second picture, I have brushes from this set and this set, alongside an ELF eyeshadow brush and a random spooly brush. I also have the usual cotton rounds, cotton buds, alcohol spray, a fixing mist, sharpener, eyelash curler, eyebrow razor thingy and an additional SPF.

I rather like this capsule and I enjoy wearing the options I've chosen when I wanted to wear make up. Admittedly, I feel that it is a lot of stuff! In addition to my skin care, I ended up with quite a heavy luggage. Henceforth, I am going on a No-Buy, not even a Low-Buy. I just reached a point recently, "Nah, I don't need that," and "I can probably make that colour by mixing this with that." I am very happy to reach this point actually. It means that I focus on working with what I already have, and I have a lot. I am not strictly on a No-Buy with skincare just yet, but similarly, I know I want to work on finishing my arsenal of serums and stick to having one face cleanser open at a time!

I mentioned earlier that I have a couple of stuff that I will eventually buy because of my curiosity, and it is actually not green eyeshadow. I'm probably going to get ColorPop's blush in Rain since they are now available for international shipping. I am still undecided, since I feel that the colour and pigment is more suitable for pale skins. I've also tried lilac blushes (Illamasqua Dab -- although, it is not actually a blush), and it looks... Odd is not the right word for it. "Out of place, but in a good way," perhaps? And I don't think I need another product to tell me that, although another beauty junkie might reason, "They're not the same!" So far, I want Rain, but I am not tempted to buy it. Another thing I am definitely getting is MAC's Fix+. I am curious if a fixing spray is really necessary for me (as an oily person, I love powdery finishes since I know it'll tone itself down in like an hour so actually, no, I don't feel I need it. But curiosity, man!) and if I didn't need it, I am very intrigued by the "fine mist" from the super high-tech (I imagine) the spray has, as hyped by everyone and their mother. I hope it doesn't break me out.

On that note, I'll end my post here. Toodles, y'all!

Avril Organics Lipsticks

Hey, ho! I am well and alive, just distracted most of the time. The elephant in the room is my inevitable huge shopping spree in the past month. I don't know what to categorize it : retail therapy? The "big haul" in preparation to returning home (Malaysia, to any new readers) where everything is slightly pricier? Or just my "Oh my God, I NEED this!" irrationality? Suffice to say.. Can we not talk/blog about it?

While I have been procrastinating blogging, I have been distracted by many things. Aside from the shopping, it has been going through the archive of Mercedes of l'amour et la musique. I don't think I am her targeted audience. I didn't care for natural/eco products, I've got no disposable income for luxe items and I cringe whenever someone starts talking about new-age *energy* healing crystals. Notice the "didn't"; I am far from being an eco-beauty aficionado, but that side of the beauty industry is intriguing. Does it really matter? Would it make a difference? How bad can conventional (usually more affordable) products be? Additionally, the alternative health Mercedes talks about constantly are actually things my family has practiced for years : acupuncture, homeopathy, healing massages, aura reading, using crystals for health reasons etc., just not hyped in a Valley-girl manner. In a way, she reminded me of my Mum's habits and rekindled some childhood memories. I was very skeptical of her practices, but I am now more than intrigued! One of these days I might just grab a cup of coffee with her, a notebook in hand and I'll ask her everything about it. And she knows everything. (Mothers always do, I suspect.)

In the spirit of this new-found interest in eco-beauty, I sought to look for organic lipstick brands because lipstick is kinda my thing. One that popped up was Avril Organics, an affordable organic French brand. I ended up buying several things (eyeliners, face powder, a mascara; I will review them in the future) but today, let's talk about lipsticks. I bought all of the lipsticks online and in my Google search for its swatches, I found very few and no comprehensive English review of these lipsticks. So I hope this is going to be helpful for someone out there.

There 9 shades and I have 4 of them. The colour that piqued my interest the most was Terre Battue, which looked like a rich terracotta, but has more orange rather than brick red. I instantly thought of my favorite lipstick, Nars Audacious in Jane. I love terracotta lipsticks, and Jane is my first love. I didn't know the undertone of my complexion (i.e. a year of frustratingly trying to match a foundation that won't make me look like an oompa loompa or ghastly grey) and Jane taught me I might be warm. I have since discovered that I am (might be) neutral, leaning warm. Jane also made me realize how I naturally tan as somehow, when I put her on, the darker outer region and lighter middle region of my face becomes more obvious. It's probably because the colour makes my complexion look cohesive. I took this understanding of my face architecture in my subsequent journey of learning how to bronze, and fell for my second love : bronzers.

Anyways, less gush about Jane since I intend to dedicate one post to this lipstick one day.

Bare lips

Terre Battue, Saumon

Nude, Brun Rose Nacre

I would describe Terre Battue as an orange terracotta and it is very warm. My yellow teeth ( Hey, coffee! Hey, tea! Also, Hey genetics!) looks so much yellower, but life is just way too short to wear boring lipsticks (the wise words of Sarah). Terre Battue is the first one I bought and as soon as I got the lipstick in the mail and tried it on, I had to order 3 more colors. Saumon is a lighter version of Terre Battue, Nude is a pink nude and is my-lips-but-better colour on me, while Brun Rose Nacre is mauve, leaning brown.

Avril lipsticks in Terre Battue, Saumon, Nude, Brun Rose Nacre (with flash)

I tried comparing Terre Battue to Jane, and indeed, they are not dissimilar. The orange in Terre Battue is more obvious next to Jane. I also swatched my Nars Audacious in Anna, which is a cool-toned mauve on me to see how "cool" Nude and Brun Nacre Rose are, and I concluded that these colors are quiet neutral.

Nars Jane, Avril Terre Battue, Saumon, Nude, Brun Rose Nacre, Nars Anna (with flash)

They are all very moisturising and have a creamy finish, Nude has the tiniest bit of silver shimmer in it. Saumon applies more patchily than the others, but it is not too terrible. On me, they all become more matte and they remain opaque for at least up to 4 hours without eating and drinking. 

These lipsticks have a slight waxy feel to them. Some might dislike this quality, but I don't mind the waxiness as it is not something I can't work with. It has a pleasant "fake natural" scent (lol this description makes no sense?!) but they disappear very quickly.

Also to note, I love how the lipsticks are shaped. I'm not sure how to explain it and I hope my attempt in these blurry, outta focus pictures are somewhat helpful. There's no sharp point to them, so that part of the lip at the cupid's bow don't appear too strong. The shape is also pretty easy for me to get a decently straight lipstick application on my upper lip in one swipe. No outside-the-lip lipstick accidents. Basically, I thought it was perfect for the shape of my lips and how I like to apply my lipsticks. I didn't know I cared about how lipsticks were cut until now.

I bought these lipsticks form different online shops : Ecco-verde for Terre Battue, econaturalproduct (Ebay) for Saumon and Rose Brun Nacre and bugster0178 (Ebay) for Nude. They are all under £7, which is pretty affordable. On whether I'd buy more shades, the answer is No. I am not attracted to the other colours and as you've seen, these shades are not vastly different from each other. I was slightly interested in Aubergine, but I feel that I can get it by mixing Brun Rose Nacre with other deeper shades in my collection. Wild Organic Beauty mentioned that the colors of Avril lipsticks are "old fashioned" and I can see why she made this statement. These colours are typical classics in any line (I disagree with using "old fashion") and slightly tweak the opacity and depth of each color group. The colours that I already own are sufficient for me.

On eco-lipsticks, in general: I am interested in other brands, such as Benecos and Lavera, maybe Lily Lolo as well. But I won't purchase them any time soon. I don't need more lipsticks, I really don't. (Also I'm broke. Duh.)

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Ingredients (from Ecco-verde): Polyglyceryl-2 Triisostearate, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis (Sweet Almond) Oil, Cera Alba (Beeswax), Mica, Olus Oil, Ci 77491 (Iron Oxides), Jojoba Esters, Copernicia Cerifera Cera (Copernicia Cerifera (Carnauba) Wax), Ci 77891 (Titanium Dioxide), Hydrated Silica, Trihydroxystearin, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter, Parfum (Fragrance), Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil, Glyceryl Caprylate, Tocopherol, Candelilla Cera (Euphorbia Cerifera (Candelilla) Wax), Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) Seed Oil, Ci 77492 (Iron Oxides), Ci 77499 (Iron Oxides), Glycine Soja Oil, Dendrobium Phalaenopsis Flower Extract.

A thing or two about Oils

My exams are over, yeay! Actually it has been about 2 weeks since I'm done with my exams and in that period of time, I was on holiday, started fasting for Ramadan, finished one book (ONE? Yes, disappointing!) and now, very bored. Then… I remembered this blog.

Summer is probably the best time to write, not only because I have the time to do it, but also because I am currently packing all my stuff. In case anyone is wondering, I am in international student in the UK and after I graduate, I will return home to the land of good food and humid hot SPF-necessary-weather that is Malaysia. While packing, I am also sorting my humble collection of skincare and make-up. I imagine the whole process to be methodical -- sort, take picture and write about them on this blog.

 When asked what have I learned in the past 3 years of my undergraduate degree, I succinctly responded with "Loved my subject, learned to develop good relationship with people I care about." In the spirit of "what have you learned", I thought of sharing several things I've learned in my journey to understanding my own skin and defining my own standards of beauty. For this particular post, I want to talk about facial oils!

Some oils are my best friends, others just do not work. My first encounter with using (essential) oil was tea tree as a spot treatment, then with rosehip oil to help my scarring. I still use tea tree oil, but I have learned that using the oil directly on my spots is too drying so now I use a mix of tea tree and a carrier oil. Rosehip oil is BS for my face. The different brands I've tried always feel heavy and uncomfortable. Although for my body, it is perfect.

I use my 70% almond oil, 30% tea tree oil blend as a spot treatment and I feel that it is the strongest, compared to my two other spot-treatment options: Himalaya Acne-N-Pimple cream and La Roche-Posay Effaclar A.I. Himalaya is more of a soothing product (also the weakest), and in my opinion, does nothing to my spots. LRP brings my spot to a head, but at a much slower rate than tea tree oil.

Next, facial oils. I recently purchased Korres's Wild Rose Brightening Facial Oil, after having loved its peeling mask (another review for another day) and a half-off sale on Amazon. I was also on the hunt for good Vitamin C-based serums (the oil does claim it has Vitamin C), and decided maybe an oil instead of a serum is not a bad alternative. Of course, it doesn't sink in as quickly as a serum, but for an oil, it sinks in pretty quickly and is light on the face. It also has a pleasant rose scent that disappears after about 5 minutes.  Also, yes, there are dried rose petals in the bottle -- which reminds me of potpourri.

Another personal blend of facial oil which I have used religiously for months prior to Korres is my mix of sweet almond (50%), geranium (20%), bergamot (15%) and ylang ylang(15%). I use my fingers to lightly pat the oil on my skin after my toner and serum, and this blend sinks in well but not as quickly Korres. It is also feels marginally thicker. I didn't expect miracle from my own DIY blend, but I surprisingly loved it and more interestingly, found geranium to be a pleasant, comforting scent.

One thing that didn't work out for me was avocado oil, which I feel is very heavy. Of course, it might also be due to it being mixed with rosehip, and together with the scent of lemon oil -- the final scent is not pleasant. To make this work for me, I add it with a very light, watery serum to lessen the heavy feel and told myself to "Just bear with it," with regards to the scent. Suffice to say, this was not a successful blend. I am still giving avocado oil another go -- as a body oil. 65% avocado oil, 15% geranium, 10% bergamot, 10% ylang ylang. (If you're guessing my geranium-bergamot-ylang ylang mix is my safe scent mix -- you're partially right. I also don't have other essential oils to play around with and have no intention to purchase more for now)

All of these oils generally work in similar manner for me : nourishing and moisturizing. On most days, I skip moisturizer and use only oil. In fact, I think I much prefer oils than moisturizers, both creamy and quick-sinking ones --  quite a claim, especially coming from an oily-combination skin type. But truthfully, I think oils nourishes my skin instantly and I love such instant gratification. Yes, there is that "oiliness" but that is nothing a blotting paper and powder can't fix. Additionally, I do feel my skin is brighter (especially with Korres), but in terms of other benefits (anti-aging, hormonal balance, etc etc), I am very skeptical. For example, I don't think any of these significantly improve my acne-scar fading process -- and over the years, I just grew comfortable with how slow it is for my skin to lighten my hyperpigmentation (also, that's what concealers are for?!). Therapeutic? Yes, in a way. I just associate geranium to getting ready in the morning, and rose to going bed at night. I imagine these things do help me to get my day started or help me relax in bed -- but again, I am skeptical. These are correlations, not causations.