Rebel and Crosswires (a Russian novel?)

Hello, again!

I don't have any good reason for not blogging other than I've been busy with school and lazy to do anything else. To be honest with you, I've been lazy even with school. I've never actually had a burnout in my entire life. But I think I'm nearing that state now. It's pretty damn depressing.

I couldn't process the event. I begin my graduate course with a solid state of mind and mission (to continue to a PhD), but several months in, I realised that state was not as solid as I thought. The usual suspect contributes : that inevitable "I'm really not good enough for this." The unexpected suspect : my realisation of how I didn't understand the Ivory Tower Academia and my discomfort with it. I noticed a certain type of... arrogance? I hesitate to use that label; let's just call it the environment of concentrating alpha-types best-minded people, competitively trying to solve the Big Questions of Our Time and win the Nobel prize. Whatever label it is, it made me as uncomfortable as reading 4chan or more relevantly, ejmr. (I am aware that both sites have trolls and academia doesn't, but I can't help feeling this similar discomfort feeling, ok. Not gonna theorise on why.) Also if you're in academia, I mean no offence! This is definitely local to me and my "holy shit I ain't prepared for this environment."

Anyways, what have I been up to? Still buying tonnes of stuff and totally forgot at some point, I told myself I should be on a low-buy/no-buy! Hah, how unsurprisingly weak :/ Well, that means I've got more material to talk about on this blog, eh? But the complete opposite for this post. Instead of the new stuff I have, I'm gonna review the only two MAC lipsticks that I own.

I was inspired to blog again by the particular pairing of these photos, both posted separately on my Instagram. They are reflective to my depressingly bleak state of mind and my future unemployment post-Masters -- meaning I gotta work the bleakness out of my system by talking about things I love, i.e. the intended purpose of this post. By the way, I'm wearing MAC's Rebel and generously edited the photo, on top of the A5 vsco filter. Yah, I'm that girl.

MAC Rebel has a cult following for a reason. It looks good on everyone and including yours truly. I would describe it as a flattering berry shade, leaning to pink with a neutral tone and has a satin finish. I have never felt it to be too warm or too cool for my complexion. (Talking about complexion, my face is totally beige, unlike my yellow neck -- but I never have to worry because I cover my neck when I have the full-hijab on! #hijabiPerks. Anyways, another discovery in my Understand-Thy-Shade adventure.)

dabbed vs full-on application

I much prefer a dab-smush -- dab lipstick, work it in with fingers (smush?smoosh?) -- application. It's much more natural and definitely my-lips-but-better colour. Healthy skin, healthy glow kinda feel, y'know? The formula is not terrible, it's decently moisturising but can cling on to any dry patches on my lips. When I apply Rebel to full opacity, however, I don't like it as much. It's a wonderful colour, but I think it requires more effort in my make-up. Smoky eyes, perhaps, but we know I never do those (don't know how to and there hasn't been an occasion where I needed to be full glam.) The colour may appear uneven, at times. So it needs work.

The other MAC lipstick I own is Crosswires, a cremesheen formula. I bought Crosswires with Rebel, actually, and both were on sale. I have heard of the lipstick often (not sure if it has a cult status, though) and I was curious about the formula.

dabbed vs full-on application

I would describe the colour as peachy-coral on my complexion. While in pictures I think I look fine, I actually don't enjoy wearing this colour. I just don't like coral colours. I hated the formula. I din't think it was that creamy and rather than a sheen, it looks waxy to me. Not a good look. I'm sure the formula might perform differently with other colour, but it puts me off considering other cremesheen formulas altogether.

Rebel, Crosswires

L-R : Wet n Wild Cherry Bomb, Wet n Wild Ravin' Raisin, Milani Matte Love,
KIKO 414 Mauve, MAC Rebel, MAC Crosswires

I was trying to compare Rebel to my other "berry" in my collection in like 2 minutes. If I were to layer Wet n Wild Ravin' Raisin with Milani Matte Love, or KIKO 414 Mauve, I would perhaps get the same effect as Rebel. Clearly Wet n Wild Cherry Bomb is not a berry, but the vampy red serves as a vampiness comparison to Rebel (it's not that vampy, it seems. Why and when did I get this idea that Rebel is a vampy shade, to begin with?) You can also see how un-matte the MAC colours are.

I have never been drawn to MAC lipsticks. They're expensive and I never feel welcomed by any MAC sales associates, ever. Having tried both lipsticks, I am not tempted to try more, except MAC's Plumful, the supposed toned down version of Rebel. As I am clearly a fan of the berry-pink colour and the MLBB look, the lustre finish of Plumful might suit my needs better. Aside form that, no more MAC for me.

Book Review : No More Dirty Looks

I doubt my ability to succinctly review books. However, I've always wanted to be able to share what I think and feel about what I've read. I've long felt it's not my place to share what I think of a book because well, what do I know? But I am a reader, and I know a thing or two about something so my thoughts can't be that useless. Moreover, I am mostly conscious of my feelings after I read something (just ask any of my friends, I always recommend books based on how I feel after reading them, not particularly because of the ~literary value~ or ~themes~ or ~complexity~) so that kind of consciousness ought to mean something, right?

Anyways, I thought this blog would be an interesting platform for book reviews, especially beauty or skincare-related ones. 

Now, on to No More Dirty Looks. It was recommended by Mercedes in this video and based on online reviews, it has been recommended as the go-to for people who are interested to transition into green beauty.

Also guys, I discovered this yoghurt with aloe vera and it's life-changing.
At a whooping RM4 for 100g, it made me cry!

The authors, Siobhan O'Connor and Alexandra Spunt begin by explaining why they're going green: they realised their hair is only nice for a couple of hours after a trip to the salon. They were curious why, Googled here and there and what do you know, all these chemicals give you very temporary shine and prettiness, but long-lasting damage to the hair. The journalists that they are, they then investigated further into not just hair products and basically, this book is the product of that investigation. The book has sections dedicated to hair, face, make-up, body, nails and diet.

Each section has interesting and entertaining addendums; zapping stretch marks, detoxing highlights, interview with make-up artists. These are bits that reveal the "human" aspect of this book, something to gauge relevance for the readers. Then expectedly, you are told the bad things (chemicals), why they're bad, briefly the debates on whether they are actually bad and then the authors share green (better) alternatives.

I was skeptical before I read this book. I expected a holier-than-thou and a lot more fear-mongering, but to my pleasant surprise, there's minimum amount of both. I also expected snarky "Now you probably don't wanna put that in your body!"comments, which occurs, but not frequent enough to annoy me. However, I am frustrated by the fact that everything apparently causes cancer and I'm not sure if the authors are to blame for this. We are exposed to lot of chemicals that is associated to cancer. 

I enjoyed the discussion regarding the laws that regulate the use of chemicals in the beauty industry. The minimum control by the FDA, the monopoly of big beauty companies in the industry and the lobbying practices. It was eye-opening, although in my opinion, it is far from comprehensive. The authors would like readers to be aware of the private interests of conventional beauty giants and that critical consumption means you do your homework to research the safety of ingredients and credibility of advertising claims in products. 

But my biggest problem after reading this book boils down to how I feel after reading it. In spite of the minimum annoyance with regards to the fear-mongering of all the toxins that exist in everything we use, something bugs me. I simply can't relate to the context of beauty habits and consumptions and the suggested greener solutions. One would argue, if a book is based on facts, then my argument of relatibility has no value.

In my opinion, it does. I feel guilty boxing people into "audience this book is applicable to," and myself into "this ain't for me." It is understandable for writers to have an intended audience and I think the book is intended for modern women in the developed world, with access to Whole Foods and cares about feeling conventionally beautiful. I can't shake off the "valley girl" or the "ethical chic New Yorker" feel of this book. Essentially, I feel excluded by the witty addendum shared by the authors. I don't care for salons, I don't have access to most of the recommended products, I don't believe using food-stuff on my face is better (the Hirons school of thought: food stuff should be in the kitchen) and I am not a modern white woman. Let me be clear, I have no problem with salons, Whole Foods, avocados or anyone from any race. I am simply sharing the exclusion I felt from this book, and this fact alone reduces the utility of No More Dirty Looks for me.

Moreover, in spite of sharing facts about the chemicals present in products, I personally don't feel these are facts I don't already know or things I can't Google myself. My exposure to applied statistics has been mostly to empirical economics (context: I am an economist-in-training) and not the scientific use of statistics (e.g.: in medical statistics), but I live by "correlation =/= causation". Everything is associated to cancer, and referencing online articles that X "causes" cancer is not convincing enough. 

I think the book is a fun read in itself, but not something revolutionary if you're already exposed to the harms of fragrance and alcohol in skincare and cosmetics. I would recommend it if you can get a cheap copy. Otherwise, it's just like reading another beauty blog, which by the way No More Dirty Looks is a blog (I haven't read it prior to reading the book).

I would like to end on a positive note. While I don't feel I am the intended audience, it did spark some interest in me to be critical about the very economy of the conventional beauty industry and not as a consumer, but as an economist. It's an interesting industry as a case study, and I'm not just talking about the Lipstick effect. Like I mentioned, I enjoyed the discussion about regulations the most. Believe it or not, when Brexit happened, I was wondering if the UK will now have different versions of sunscreen than the Europeans. Will it be similar to American ones? Of course, I wonder this while I stock my skincare drawer with more Asian sunscreens.

I hope this review is not unnecessarily harsh, I only intend to be honest. More reviews to come, hopefully!

Stuff I brought home, Summer make-up capsule, and No Buy 2016

I went from short uncreative titles (X Lipstick, Facial Oil) to longer ones. Development! There are 3 layers to this post. I will be home for a month during my summer break, and as I was packing for my stay, I have essentially created my own summer make-up capsule. This got me into thinking that I might do a seasonal capsule for my make-up and rotate them every 3 months since I do have a large collection. I then realised how large this collection is, especially for someone who recently got into make-up about 3 years ago. It is slightly overwhelming! Whilst packing, I decluttered some of my make-up items konmari style, asking (1) "Do you make me happy?" as well as (2)"Are you needed because I was curious about something?" and if you are, you're staying. I gave myself the additional latter question because I need to know if I can make green eyeshadows work for me or if there is such a thing as the perfect purple blush. Given my sizable collection, I have also decided on a No-Buy till the end of this year, except for some items that I am considering to purchase because of curiosity reasons, following statement (2). This capsule mainly focus on everyday looks that can stand the Malaysian heat. Additionally, I've also got my graduation and 2 weddings to consider.

This post is totally inspired by Auxiliary Beauty, by the way. Except my towels are all still in the wash, so I'm using my favourite headscarf, which is the coolest ombre blue! (Unfortunately, not obvious in any of the pictures.)

I have packed my make up into four (!!!) bags: tools (magenta), eyes (light pink), complexion (black) and lips (well, LIPS.) This is excluding skin care. 

Base

L-R: Maybelline Instant Age Rewind in Fair, Collection Lasting Perfection concealer in Medium, a bubble-wrapped Avril Organics face powder in Nude, EX1 Delete concealer in D100, EX1 Invisiwear foundation in F200, bareMinerals Complexion Rescue in 03 Buttercream, Borjois CC Cream in Light Beige, EX1 Pure Crushed Minerals foundation in M100, Kiko Matte Fusion Powder in 04 Honey.

The Maybeline concealer, Collection concealer and EX1 mineral foundation are close to being empty, I think I can finish them before my flight home in late July. (Update: I didn't!) My pressed powder has about 1/4 product left so I brought an extra powder just in case I ran out. EX1 Invisiwear in F200 is slightly dark for me, even in the summer so it's gonna be mixed with my CC cream/tinted moisturiser.

L-R: Max Factor FaceFinity Primer, Make Up Academy Undress Your Skin Liquid Glow in Oyster, (Top) Sleek Contour Kit in Medium, Sleek Blush in Antique, KIKO bronzer in 01 Natural Tan, (Bottom) Illamasqua cream blush in Zygomatic, Nyx blush in Taupe, Borjois bronzing primer, Make Up Academy cream blush in Framboise Shake, (below Borjois) ELF Tickle Pink.

Eyes

From top & L-R: In the custom palette, where I store my MUA and ELF blushes as well, are eyeshadows depotted from Make Up Revolution Iconic Pro 1 palette (I didn't label the shades, but based on Google, they should be from top & L to R; Need, Must, Fade, Too Grey, Stage), Jane Iradele Daytime eyeshadow, Maybelline Colour Tattoo in Creme de Rose and On and On Bronze, the Balm Put a Lid on It eyeshadow primer, Seventeen Statusque and Rose Quartz, B. Smoky Eye pencil in Grey, Etude House eyebrow in Grey, Stilla smudge stick in Lionfish, MaxFactor 200 Calorie Mascara in Black, Covergirl Super Sizer in Brown Black, ELF Lash Tint mascara in Black Noir, ELF brow gel, Make Up Academy eyeshadow primer. Not pictured, a tube of unopened Avril Organics mascara.

(Update: I decided to ditch my custom palette eventually. I don't think I'll wear anything from it and I needed more space in my luggage!)

These eyeshadows are quite recent purchases and I am very excited to play around with wearing more eyeshadows. I know they're only neutral colours but from someone who barely wears anything on the eyes, this is pretty exciting. Most of my mascaras are about to dry out (hence I brought along a new tube of mascara) so I think I'll finish using all of them by the end of summer. I'm also throwing out the MUA eyeshadow primer, actually. It does not work at all, and while I've only tested the Balm's primer several times, I think I like it much more.

Lips

L-R: (Top) Avril Organics in Saumon and Nude, Wet n Wild Bare it All and In the Flesh, NARS Audacious in Jane and Anna, Revlon Really Red, ELF Smoochy Spice. (Bottom) Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Honey, Avril Organics lip liner in Nude, Essence lip pencil in Femme Fatale.

I wore Jane for my graduation, expectedly. On most days, I switch between Honey and Saumon since they are very neutral, easy colours on me. Similarly to eyeshadows, I rarely wear lipliners and I don't think I needed them. But I like the potential longevity of lipliners and just reapplying chapsticks, so I got myself the Nude lipliner from Avril. Although realistically speaking, I foresee no occasion that I will wear red lipstick, a girl has gotta have all the options amirite?! 

Tools

Do I have a problem? Yes.. and No. I love brushes. In fact, I get more excited for brushes sometimes, more than make up itself. But it's pretty hard to sell the "I love makeup brushes!" when I go cheap with my tools. (As I write this, I think to myself, why do I justify passion only with spending more for it? Does going cheap cheapens the love?) I am here to admit I bought most of my brushes from Ebay as sets (beginners LOVE sets, don't they? Well, I do!) and they're affordable for my budget. Only recently I got into buying the Real Techniques dupes, but for the past 2 years, I've been using strictly no-brand synthetic brushes and I have no problem with this. Even when I bought dupes (especially Real Techniques), I feel that they're good enough! This is the decision I have made with regards to purchasing the tools for my make up application, make what you will of that. 

But just in case anyone is curious, in the First picture I have Wilko Face powder brush, RT face expert brush (the real one), Ebay stippling brush (set) and essential brush (set) and blush brush (no link, I bought it a year ago so I don't have it in my purchase history, unfortunately). In the Second picture, I have brushes from this set and this set, alongside an ELF eyeshadow brush and a random spooly brush. I also have the usual cotton rounds, cotton buds, alcohol spray, a fixing mist, sharpener, eyelash curler, eyebrow razor thingy and an additional SPF.

I rather like this capsule and I enjoy wearing the options I've chosen when I wanted to wear make up. Admittedly, I feel that it is a lot of stuff! In addition to my skin care, I ended up with quite a heavy luggage. Henceforth, I am going on a No-Buy, not even a Low-Buy. I just reached a point recently, "Nah, I don't need that," and "I can probably make that colour by mixing this with that." I am very happy to reach this point actually. It means that I focus on working with what I already have, and I have a lot. I am not strictly on a No-Buy with skincare just yet, but similarly, I know I want to work on finishing my arsenal of serums and stick to having one face cleanser open at a time!

I mentioned earlier that I have a couple of stuff that I will eventually buy because of my curiosity, and it is actually not green eyeshadow. I'm probably going to get ColorPop's blush in Rain since they are now available for international shipping. I am still undecided, since I feel that the colour and pigment is more suitable for pale skins. I've also tried lilac blushes (Illamasqua Dab -- although, it is not actually a blush), and it looks... Odd is not the right word for it. "Out of place, but in a good way," perhaps? And I don't think I need another product to tell me that, although another beauty junkie might reason, "They're not the same!" So far, I want Rain, but I am not tempted to buy it. Another thing I am definitely getting is MAC's Fix+. I am curious if a fixing spray is really necessary for me (as an oily person, I love powdery finishes since I know it'll tone itself down in like an hour so actually, no, I don't feel I need it. But curiosity, man!) and if I didn't need it, I am very intrigued by the "fine mist" from the super high-tech (I imagine) the spray has, as hyped by everyone and their mother. I hope it doesn't break me out.

On that note, I'll end my post here. Toodles, y'all!

Avril Organics Lipsticks

Hey, ho! I am well and alive, just distracted most of the time. The elephant in the room is my inevitable huge shopping spree in the past month. I don't know what to categorize it : retail therapy? The "big haul" in preparation to returning home (Malaysia, to any new readers) where everything is slightly pricier? Or just my "Oh my God, I NEED this!" irrationality? Suffice to say.. Can we not talk/blog about it?

While I have been procrastinating blogging, I have been distracted by many things. Aside from the shopping, it has been going through the archive of Mercedes of l'amour et la musique. I don't think I am her targeted audience. I didn't care for natural/eco products, I've got no disposable income for luxe items and I cringe whenever someone starts talking about new-age *energy* healing crystals. Notice the "didn't"; I am far from being an eco-beauty aficionado, but that side of the beauty industry is intriguing. Does it really matter? Would it make a difference? How bad can conventional (usually more affordable) products be? Additionally, the alternative health Mercedes talks about constantly are actually things my family has practiced for years : acupuncture, homeopathy, healing massages, aura reading, using crystals for health reasons etc., just not hyped in a Valley-girl manner. In a way, she reminded me of my Mum's habits and rekindled some childhood memories. I was very skeptical of her practices, but I am now more than intrigued! One of these days I might just grab a cup of coffee with her, a notebook in hand and I'll ask her everything about it. And she knows everything. (Mothers always do, I suspect.)

In the spirit of this new-found interest in eco-beauty, I sought to look for organic lipstick brands because lipstick is kinda my thing. One that popped up was Avril Organics, an affordable organic French brand. I ended up buying several things (eyeliners, face powder, a mascara; I will review them in the future) but today, let's talk about lipsticks. I bought all of the lipsticks online and in my Google search for its swatches, I found very few and no comprehensive English review of these lipsticks. So I hope this is going to be helpful for someone out there.

There 9 shades and I have 4 of them. The colour that piqued my interest the most was Terre Battue, which looked like a rich terracotta, but has more orange rather than brick red. I instantly thought of my favorite lipstick, Nars Audacious in Jane. I love terracotta lipsticks, and Jane is my first love. I didn't know the undertone of my complexion (i.e. a year of frustratingly trying to match a foundation that won't make me look like an oompa loompa or ghastly grey) and Jane taught me I might be warm. I have since discovered that I am (might be) neutral, leaning warm. Jane also made me realize how I naturally tan as somehow, when I put her on, the darker outer region and lighter middle region of my face becomes more obvious. It's probably because the colour makes my complexion look cohesive. I took this understanding of my face architecture in my subsequent journey of learning how to bronze, and fell for my second love : bronzers.

Anyways, less gush about Jane since I intend to dedicate one post to this lipstick one day.

Bare lips

Terre Battue, Saumon

Nude, Brun Rose Nacre

I would describe Terre Battue as an orange terracotta and it is very warm. My yellow teeth ( Hey, coffee! Hey, tea! Also, Hey genetics!) looks so much yellower, but life is just way too short to wear boring lipsticks (the wise words of Sarah). Terre Battue is the first one I bought and as soon as I got the lipstick in the mail and tried it on, I had to order 3 more colors. Saumon is a lighter version of Terre Battue, Nude is a pink nude and is my-lips-but-better colour on me, while Brun Rose Nacre is mauve, leaning brown.

Avril lipsticks in Terre Battue, Saumon, Nude, Brun Rose Nacre (with flash)

I tried comparing Terre Battue to Jane, and indeed, they are not dissimilar. The orange in Terre Battue is more obvious next to Jane. I also swatched my Nars Audacious in Anna, which is a cool-toned mauve on me to see how "cool" Nude and Brun Nacre Rose are, and I concluded that these colors are quiet neutral.

Nars Jane, Avril Terre Battue, Saumon, Nude, Brun Rose Nacre, Nars Anna (with flash)

They are all very moisturising and have a creamy finish, Nude has the tiniest bit of silver shimmer in it. Saumon applies more patchily than the others, but it is not too terrible. On me, they all become more matte and they remain opaque for at least up to 4 hours without eating and drinking. 

These lipsticks have a slight waxy feel to them. Some might dislike this quality, but I don't mind the waxiness as it is not something I can't work with. It has a pleasant "fake natural" scent (lol this description makes no sense?!) but they disappear very quickly.

Also to note, I love how the lipsticks are shaped. I'm not sure how to explain it and I hope my attempt in these blurry, outta focus pictures are somewhat helpful. There's no sharp point to them, so that part of the lip at the cupid's bow don't appear too strong. The shape is also pretty easy for me to get a decently straight lipstick application on my upper lip in one swipe. No outside-the-lip lipstick accidents. Basically, I thought it was perfect for the shape of my lips and how I like to apply my lipsticks. I didn't know I cared about how lipsticks were cut until now.

I bought these lipsticks form different online shops : Ecco-verde for Terre Battue, econaturalproduct (Ebay) for Saumon and Rose Brun Nacre and bugster0178 (Ebay) for Nude. They are all under £7, which is pretty affordable. On whether I'd buy more shades, the answer is No. I am not attracted to the other colours and as you've seen, these shades are not vastly different from each other. I was slightly interested in Aubergine, but I feel that I can get it by mixing Brun Rose Nacre with other deeper shades in my collection. Wild Organic Beauty mentioned that the colors of Avril lipsticks are "old fashioned" and I can see why she made this statement. These colours are typical classics in any line (I disagree with using "old fashion") and slightly tweak the opacity and depth of each color group. The colours that I already own are sufficient for me.

On eco-lipsticks, in general: I am interested in other brands, such as Benecos and Lavera, maybe Lily Lolo as well. But I won't purchase them any time soon. I don't need more lipsticks, I really don't. (Also I'm broke. Duh.)

-----

Ingredients (from Ecco-verde): Polyglyceryl-2 Triisostearate, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis (Sweet Almond) Oil, Cera Alba (Beeswax), Mica, Olus Oil, Ci 77491 (Iron Oxides), Jojoba Esters, Copernicia Cerifera Cera (Copernicia Cerifera (Carnauba) Wax), Ci 77891 (Titanium Dioxide), Hydrated Silica, Trihydroxystearin, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea) Butter, Parfum (Fragrance), Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil, Glyceryl Caprylate, Tocopherol, Candelilla Cera (Euphorbia Cerifera (Candelilla) Wax), Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) Seed Oil, Ci 77492 (Iron Oxides), Ci 77499 (Iron Oxides), Glycine Soja Oil, Dendrobium Phalaenopsis Flower Extract.

A thing or two about Oils

My exams are over, yeay! Actually it has been about 2 weeks since I'm done with my exams and in that period of time, I was on holiday, started fasting for Ramadan, finished one book (ONE? Yes, disappointing!) and now, very bored. Then… I remembered this blog.

Summer is probably the best time to write, not only because I have the time to do it, but also because I am currently packing all my stuff. In case anyone is wondering, I am in international student in the UK and after I graduate, I will return home to the land of good food and humid hot SPF-necessary-weather that is Malaysia. While packing, I am also sorting my humble collection of skincare and make-up. I imagine the whole process to be methodical -- sort, take picture and write about them on this blog.

 When asked what have I learned in the past 3 years of my undergraduate degree, I succinctly responded with "Loved my subject, learned to develop good relationship with people I care about." In the spirit of "what have you learned", I thought of sharing several things I've learned in my journey to understanding my own skin and defining my own standards of beauty. For this particular post, I want to talk about facial oils!

Some oils are my best friends, others just do not work. My first encounter with using (essential) oil was tea tree as a spot treatment, then with rosehip oil to help my scarring. I still use tea tree oil, but I have learned that using the oil directly on my spots is too drying so now I use a mix of tea tree and a carrier oil. Rosehip oil is BS for my face. The different brands I've tried always feel heavy and uncomfortable. Although for my body, it is perfect.

I use my 70% almond oil, 30% tea tree oil blend as a spot treatment and I feel that it is the strongest, compared to my two other spot-treatment options: Himalaya Acne-N-Pimple cream and La Roche-Posay Effaclar A.I. Himalaya is more of a soothing product (also the weakest), and in my opinion, does nothing to my spots. LRP brings my spot to a head, but at a much slower rate than tea tree oil.

Next, facial oils. I recently purchased Korres's Wild Rose Brightening Facial Oil, after having loved its peeling mask (another review for another day) and a half-off sale on Amazon. I was also on the hunt for good Vitamin C-based serums (the oil does claim it has Vitamin C), and decided maybe an oil instead of a serum is not a bad alternative. Of course, it doesn't sink in as quickly as a serum, but for an oil, it sinks in pretty quickly and is light on the face. It also has a pleasant rose scent that disappears after about 5 minutes.  Also, yes, there are dried rose petals in the bottle -- which reminds me of potpourri.

Another personal blend of facial oil which I have used religiously for months prior to Korres is my mix of sweet almond (50%), geranium (20%), bergamot (15%) and ylang ylang(15%). I use my fingers to lightly pat the oil on my skin after my toner and serum, and this blend sinks in well but not as quickly Korres. It is also feels marginally thicker. I didn't expect miracle from my own DIY blend, but I surprisingly loved it and more interestingly, found geranium to be a pleasant, comforting scent.

One thing that didn't work out for me was avocado oil, which I feel is very heavy. Of course, it might also be due to it being mixed with rosehip, and together with the scent of lemon oil -- the final scent is not pleasant. To make this work for me, I add it with a very light, watery serum to lessen the heavy feel and told myself to "Just bear with it," with regards to the scent. Suffice to say, this was not a successful blend. I am still giving avocado oil another go -- as a body oil. 65% avocado oil, 15% geranium, 10% bergamot, 10% ylang ylang. (If you're guessing my geranium-bergamot-ylang ylang mix is my safe scent mix -- you're partially right. I also don't have other essential oils to play around with and have no intention to purchase more for now)

All of these oils generally work in similar manner for me : nourishing and moisturizing. On most days, I skip moisturizer and use only oil. In fact, I think I much prefer oils than moisturizers, both creamy and quick-sinking ones --  quite a claim, especially coming from an oily-combination skin type. But truthfully, I think oils nourishes my skin instantly and I love such instant gratification. Yes, there is that "oiliness" but that is nothing a blotting paper and powder can't fix. Additionally, I do feel my skin is brighter (especially with Korres), but in terms of other benefits (anti-aging, hormonal balance, etc etc), I am very skeptical. For example, I don't think any of these significantly improve my acne-scar fading process -- and over the years, I just grew comfortable with how slow it is for my skin to lighten my hyperpigmentation (also, that's what concealers are for?!). Therapeutic? Yes, in a way. I just associate geranium to getting ready in the morning, and rose to going bed at night. I imagine these things do help me to get my day started or help me relax in bed -- but again, I am skeptical. These are correlations, not causations.

Review of Empties: In which I combine all the other stuff

It's currently my finals week. I've, of course, accumulated more makeup and skincare stuff on my late night, post-study, "I need to treat myself" online perusing of Ebay and Amazon... and I might not completely regret it... the next morning? So I have a lot to write about, actually, post my exams. Heck, this summer is going to be dedicated to 3 things :

1. Reading Moby-Dick, 

2. Write for this blog, and 

3. Umm.. more study?

#3 is because I am continuing my studies after my undergraduate, hopefully, if I make the grades for the program I was offered. 

I also remembered the other part of my reviews, which I've saved in my drafts and forgot to publish. Hah! So here's the quick review of the rest of my trash! To be honest, most of these are stuff I don't care about, but since I mentioned earlier that I might review them and I've taken the time to take pictures, why the hell not just write the post.

Other skin things

These are the stuff that aren't skin favourites. Touch-and-go, I do not care about you. I've got a bunch of samples that I've hold on to for so long and I'm scared to put them on my face, so into the bin they go!

Caudalie Vinosource : A serum, or maybe a very light moisturizer that is tacky upon application, although it sinks in pretty quickly. But the tackiness weirdly remains, which I'm not a fan off. Also I'm probably in the minority; I despise the scent of this. Ugh, pass.

Vichy Idealia BB cream (in Medium): Light BB cream, way too peachy for my skin. Not a fan, didn't even use up the whole bottle, what more two! It was runny and left my skin feeling weird.

Vichy Aqualia Thermal: I'm a fan of Aqualia Thermal line in general. This is a light-weight cream, moisturizing and sinks-in immediately. I think it is *similar* to Vinosource in the sense that my skin feels immidiately hydrated, but without tackiness and scent (I think Vichy is lightly scented still). But I don't think I will purchase this, since I much prefer facial oils anyways for all hydrating and moisturizing purposes.

La Roche-Posay Anthelios XLUltra-Light SPF 50: Extremely thin tinted physical sunscreen. I was not a fan of the tint as it was too pink. It was lightweight, but left my skin feeling oily. I might give the anti-shine range a go, since I do not have a good physical sunscreen yet and all in my collection are chemical sunscreens.

La Roche-Posay Effaclar K: Let me be honest. I don't know what this does -- I didn't use it long enough to know if it did anything, I didn't bother to read it up on whether it's supposed to do anything. Something related to acne, I think. But I just didn't bother to do my research and last time I checked, it sorta stanked! So, pass as well.

The Korean-things!

Some of these are samples that I have and gifts from my lovely Korean-skincare-junkie-friend, Q. I even stapled my post-it-notes of what I thought of them so that I can review them here.

Skinfood Tomato facial sheet mask: This legit smells like shampoo, it's a bit frightening. After 40 minutes of wear, my skin feels soft. I am generally not a fan of sheet masks. For me, they're a hassle so I won't repurchase.

Lailly 7 Seconds Make-Up Booster: A green-bluish moisturizer + primer sort of product, which I use as my make-up base. I loved this wonderful thing. Made my skin feel soft, slightly luminous but nothing too oily. I didn't notice any oil-controlling property or if it holds on my make-up for longer than usual, but that's because I just generally don't check my make-up throughout the day. I am considering getting a full-size of this, if I don't already have primers that I'm currently trying to use up.

The Face Shop Heaven Grade Ginseng Moisture Cream: Nothing spectacular. Smells good, but I really don't like scented skincare so this one just ends up annoying me.

Skinfood Blanc Pearl Caviar Toner: Toner in a pack, well now that is just recipe for annoyance. I noted this as "forgettable, scented. Annoying."

The Face Shop Heaven Grade Ginseng Essence: Now, this one is also scented, "perfumey" as I've noted on the post-it. It is however effective in making my skin very soft the next day, apparently.

Tony Moly Intense Care Dual Effect Sleeping Pack: In caps, HATE. This broke me out! Not fun, Tony Moly. Not fun at all.

The Make-Up

I had a major clean-out of my make-up collection earlier this year, getting rid of things I did not use. Most of my stuff are from the drugstore, so I didn't really feel terribly bad getting rid of these. In fact, I'm pretty good at getting rid of things that I don't like.

Revlon Lip Butter in Tutti Frutti : One of the very first lipsticks I bought, and this colour specifically because it was a favourite of many bloggers/youtubers. Corals aren't the colour for me, or actually, I have yet found a coral that works for me. This also had chunky glitters, and applies patchily on my lips.

Makeup Revolution Lip Hug lipsticks in Present Has No Living, She's Up All Night, Want to Leave and Good Fun: Actually, I bought five (yes, five) of these lipsticks, thinking they'd be great. It was on offer and I chose the pink collection. I was very disappointed that they are all actually bright fuchsia which are not too dissimilar to each other, and on average very cool on me. I am not very comfortable with bright cool-toned lipsticks, so I see no reason to keep them all. Threw out all these, kept End With Beginnings. I'll blog about it one day (hah, one day).

Collection Cream Puff liquid lipstick in Cotton Candy 1: Baby-pink, mousse-like texture. Will accentuate dry lips and veiney textures (is "veiney" the right term? Soz, new to this whole blogging thingymajig, I really don't now the terms.) Not a big fan.

Essence I Like Long Lashes, Essence Multi-action, ELF Last Extending

Mascara gets used up pretty quickly for me. On average, mine lasts for about 3 to 4 months. Maybe it was just the formulas I've used thus far, but beyond the 3 months mark, my mascaras are dry and it is not pleasant at all to put on. So into the bin they go.

Essence I Like Long Lashes : Tends to be a bit clumpy, especially as it gets drier. Nothing magical, maybe lengthened my lashes but nothing noticeable to me. My lashes looked emphasized, in a natural way and that's how I like them!

Essence Multi-action: This one is similar to I Like Long Lashes, and claims to add volume as well. I like this one a bit better, simply because the roots of my lashes seem a bit fuller, giving the appearance of volume. 

ELF Lash Extending: The smell of this was vile and disgusting, I did not dare put it anywhere near my face! Actually I got this for free in an ELF order so I really can't complain. 

ELF  Smudge Pot in Back to Basics: I remember buying this almost 2 years ago! I didn't wear it often enough partly because I don't wear eyeshadows regularly, but also because the gold looked off on me. It's genuinely a preference thing, really. For some, this might be a subtle gold, but on me, it comes off as too shimmery. After these years, the scent was turning bad so I'm throwing it out.

Stuff you probably don't care about

Two random travel-size shampoos that I don't care about. Simple face wipes that I use when I'm travelling. A shower cream that smells like cranberries and cream,which I hated and made me realise I really despise not only scented stuff, but scented-like-food things. Toothpaste; what can one say about toothpaste, really? I thought "nothing much!" but recently, I started using fluoride-free toothpaste and found that I no longer have as much acne around my mouth. So, adieu conventional toothpastes!

This was my body scrub, Cyclax's Apricot Facial Scrub. It is so cheap, I think a tub of this is 99p. It smelled okay, does the job, but the "apricot bits" is a bit messy so that's a hassle. Might buy again, maybe.

Phew. Now that's done, back to studying.

Review of Empties I : Favourite skincare

I've been collecting my trash, thinking I'd do those fancy #empties posts with craftily-shot products spread but... let's be honest, I'm probably too lazy for that. What's important to me is the review of the things I have used. I always trust empty reviews because often people know how they feel about something. Now, here goes my first installment of empty goodies (I've got four planned; ugh so much trash)!

Serums: Fav category out of the favourites (Because I love serums!)

Nip+Fab Glycolic Fix; Vichy Normaderm; Hylamide Low Molecular HA

Hylamide Low Molecular HA

I discovered Hylamide in 2015 and it was the highlight of my year. Initially, I picked up Low Molecular HA because it was the cheapest out of all the serums, at £18. Since then, I have tried several other Hylamide products and this remains to be my most favourite. It is packed with moisture and it leaves my skin feeling nourished and balanced. It is very lightweight, soaks up immediately and will not leave your skin *dewy*. I did not detect any scent at all which is a plus point for me (I don't like scented skincare). If you have oily skin, if you have dry skin, if you have dehydrated skin, if you have normal skin, heck if you have skin at all and I bet all of you have skin, try this out. I loved it.

Nip+Fab Glycolic Fix 

This serum was my first attempt of using acids. I think it is a bit too strong for me. I did use it for about 3 months religiously prior to realising this fact. But it did work, especially in making my skin feel smoother and softer. I have the facial pads from this range and found that as an exfoliant it works amazingly; just not as serum that sits on my skin for a longer period of time. I ended up using this on the dry patches I have on my arms and knees. I think my skin felt fine after using the serum for some time, but to be completely honest I just did not pay any attention to my arms and knees to notice any difference.

Vichy Normaderm 

This bottle lasted me for about a year, I believe. It was marketed for acne-prone skin, but I did not feel it reduced my acne by any means. It just did not worsen it. However, I generally enjoyed this serum-moisturiser in my morning routine. It smells fresh, it is lightweight and make-up applies well on it.

Cleansers/Scrubs

Nivea micellar water; Hada Lobo face wash; Codage scrubbing cream; Himalaya Neem face wash

Nivea Sensitive Caring Micellar Water

Out of all the micellar waters I've tried, Nivea's is my favourite. It is unscented, it does not sting my eyes, it gets the job done. I will repurchase this, definitely! 

Hada Labo Deep Clean & Blemish Control face wash

I got this when I was back home in Malaysia on offer. It's an okay cleanser; the texture is creamy, it foams up well but leaves the skin feeling slightly tight after use. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, but there is no harm in trying it out, especially if you have more oily skin-type. In terms of controlling blemishes, I don't think I saw any effects. 

Codage Scrubbing Cream

Codage is supposedly a fancy French brand and this is a 25ml sample of their Scrubbing Cream. I freaking loved this stuff. It had quite large scrubby bits, but paradoxically was not harsh at all. It is also very luxuriously creamy, which is probably why it didn't feel harsh. I would want to repurchase this, but it costs £36 for a 50ml jar and I'm not ready to part ways with my money just yet. 

Himalaya Neem face wash

I'm also throwing out a travel-size Himalaya Neem face wash which I have had for ages. While I have only used this during my travels, I have used this Neem face wash in the past. It is slightly stripping and unless you have extremely oily skin, I wouldn't recommend it. 

Moisturiser/Creams

The Emu Oil Well Mousiturising eye cream; Origins GinZeng; FAB Ultra Repair Cream; Biore UV Aqua Rich

The Emu Oil Well Moisturising Eye Cream

I got this based on a review by Estee many months (years?) ago and there was a sale for it on lookfantastic, so I gave it a go. It is very emollient but not thick, and has a distinct scent which I noticed but didn't mind. I have normal under-eyes and don't have terrible eye-bags so I can't comment of whether it reduces puffiness etc. However, I did end up just using this as a body cream to quickly finish it up because I was bored of it T_____T. As a body cream, it works just as well, by the way.

Origins GinZeng moisturiser

Ugh I'm so frustrated with Origins. Why is it so pricey and yet so average? I got myself trial sizes of Origins and have yet to be impressed by any of them, actually. Wait, why is this in my Favorite skincare?? It's not! It's just something I don't hate. It's an alright moisturiser, smells orange-y and lightweight. That is all.

First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream

Now, this. is. a. gem. An unexpected one. This is like Hylamide Low Molecular HA serum; it is genuinely one of those low-key maybe-you-thought-I'm-average products, but does the whole nourishing thing in a spectacular way, you just can't not be impressed by it. It does what it says; gives you moisture! It is not too thick, mousse-like and enjoyed using it on my face, sometimes on my body. There is a weak scent to it, feels a bit cooling but I don't think it's irritating.

Biore UV Aqua Rich Sunscreen (SPF 50+PA+++)

It's not mentioned on the packaging, but I remember when I bought this like 3 years ago, it was designed to make sure make-up applies smoothly on top of it. It is a white mousse, blends in the skin immediately after application. I am fair, so I did not notice any white cast. I also don't take flash photography so I can't comment on flashbacks as well. What I can comment is make-up did indeed apply very smoothly on it; it's lightweight and very comfortable to wear for daily basis.

The sun is out!

Spring break was no break. I was writing my undergraduate thesis, I was applying and was interviewed for jobs knowing that I won't work after my undergraduate because #gradschool so I've been going all "What is the point of this again?!", oh and speaking of graduate school, I've been rejected by several scholarships I applied to -- so really, it's been a tiring, draining and pretty disappointing spring break. Except for the times spent with close friends, primarily worrying but also assuring ourselves things are probably going to turn out okay, eventually -- I enjoyed every minute of that. 

Aside from aforementioned activities, I did go on a holiday (sort of? more like a study break) and boy, oh boy, I picked the right time to enjoy myself. I visited a friend in Edinburgh and the weather was phenomenally bright and sunny. I toured the city, hiked aplenty and drank lotsa coffee. I was told the city is usually very gloomy with rain and strong wind; a part of myself would like to believe that I am a special snowflake and that Life decided, "Yep, you totally deserve this break. HERE'S THE SUN FOR YOU." Immediately though, the other part of myself that is ridiculously superstitions started thinking if this is Life's way of easing me into the difficult times ahead, namely the other scholarship application results I'm anxiously waiting for and my finals; you know, "Enjoy this now, YOU WILL SUFFER AND FAIL NEXT." I know, ridiculous but this fear is real.

Then I headed down to London to see William Fitzsimmons live which was life-changing. I am not exaggerating! It was life-changing. Firstly, it was Fitzsimmons and if you know me in any personal capacity, you know I cannot shut up about this man. He's amazingly talented, and he's arguably the first guy to make me reconsider my taste in men; from the cute Korean flower boys to.... what it is now (must have a beard, voice must be calming, looks good in flannel, and oh, did I mention, beard. Seriously it's impossible to find someone in my vicinity who rocks an awesome beard and is simultaneously date-able). 

But secondly, the awesome part of the concert was also because it was at a church, St.Giles in-the-Fields. Now, Fitzsimmons is already amazing and while I'm no expert in architecture, I think the design of the place has a lot to do in making his music more amazing. It was a complex experience in which I felt my whole body vibrated to the soft acoustics of Will's guitar playing, the sharp dip-in-the-guts of "oh. OH WOW OH." of Abby Gunderson's violin and my favorite, the odd-but-totally-amazing-adorable use of what I think is the xylaphone in some of his songs. I'm also not a music major so really I can't comment shit about music things BUT I WAS HAPPY AND IT WAS GREAT. 

But anyways, I thought I'd share the makeup I've been wearing when I was on holiday. I was staying at a friend's friend's place and her room was aesthetically cool. It also had a nice big window, so all the good light was available and ..... TA-DA!

Let me begin by saying I am not used to taking pictures of myself, or even looking at pictures of myself. Yeah, I'm one of those people who'd untag the photos you’ve tagged me on Facebook. I really dislike photos of myself and admittedly, it is most likely because of slight negative body-image issues. I'm trying, okay. Trying.

Also, can we talk about my *glow*? Okay, it was mostly the sun and the fact that my face is so round so all the light bounces of everywhere; but also because I've been using a creamy lipstick (Essence lipstick in 05 Cool Nude) as my blush. Dab it on the apple of my cheeks and subtly on my cheekbones; blend it out to give a nice sheen. Damn, it's pretty in pictures -- of course, when angled rightly!

Face

A'Pieu Natural Sun Cream SPF45 PA+++

Bioderma Sebium Global (as primer)

Bourjois 123 Perfect CC Cream in 32 Beige Claire

Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer in 3 Warm Medium

KIKO Flawless Fusion Bronzer Powder in 01 Natural Tan

KIKO Matte Fusion Pressed Powder in 04 Honey

Essence lipstick in 05 Cool Nude (as blush)

Eyes (not always, only in these pictures but most of the time, I skipped the eyes!)

MaxFactor 2000 Calorie mascara in Black

Etude House Drawing Eyebrow in 05 Grey 

Lips 

Burt's Bees Tinted Lipbalm in Hibiscus

Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in 001 Honey

L-R: Burt's Bees's Hibiscus, Revlon's Honey; Essence's Cool Nude.

Project Pan Update #1

I started this project earlier this year, aiming to update my progress every three months. Inspired by the numerous use-it-up challenges I watch on Youtube, and how it is personally satisfying to finish a product, I wanted to document my own process. I've focused on 11 products; have since finished 3, thrown out 1, giving away 1 and will potentially add other stuff to the mix.

For my base, I'm hella proud of how much I've used my EX1 Invisiwear foundation in F100. Initially I mixed this with my Bourjois bronzing primer (also in this project) but found it to be too orange for my liking. Now I mix it with my Invisiwear in F200 for a decent colour (yes I've got 2 shades of this foundation). For the next 3 months, I will continue using F100, but will also track my progress for F200. I'll probably dedicate a future post reviewing this foundation, but to quickly review it: it's an alright foundation.

L: Update on F100 YASSSSSS; R: Swatch of EX1 Invisiwear in F100 and F200

I love Natural Collection's Sugar Plum; it's more of a mauve instead of a plum for me, not too pigmented and against my skin, gives just the right amount of "natural" flush. Panning this blush would be an impossible ambition, but I'm happy to report I've used it almost every day when I am not using the next "cheek" product.

L: Natural Collection Sugar Plum; L: Blended 

Essence's lipstick in Cool Nude is not the colour for me. It makes my complexion look meh and my teeth looks more yellow than they already are (coffee is a wonderful thing I am not willing to give up, plus I genetically have slightly yellow teeth). But I re-purposed this into a cream blush, and it does wonderful things to my complexion. It's cool, nude, slightly mauve and I realised that I like a slightly "wet" look to my cheeks. The swatch below is a bit intense, but blended out, it is my go-to blush. The drawback is it does not last at all, disappears around the 1.5 hours mark; perhaps because my face has developed its own oil by now, leaving all of my face looking oily dewy and melts the lipstick away.

Top L: Essence in Cool Nude; R: KIKO 414 Mauve
Bottom: Swatches. I taught myself to love you! And I ended up really loving!!

My KIKO lipstick (414 Mauve in Sheer Glossy formula) is one that I didn't expect to love. Because it was glittery and I have never warmed up to glitter. Not when I was younger, not now as I'm in my early 20s. I tolerated the lipstick mostly because aside from the glitter, it is a wonderful lipstick. A very nice berry-mauve, it does not have a strong scent, it glides smoothly on my lips and does not emphasize the lines of my naturally line-y lips. But tolerance grew into acceptance, then turned into admiration -- I can comfortably rely on this lipstick to brighten up my face on the days I wore it for school. In fact, now that I think of it, it is not that glittery as you can see from my swatch of it. 

Concealers are my thing; it's the first makeup I bought, I think. All thanks to acne and its scarring, which in my case is very obvious since I am quite fair and my hyper-pigmentation is probably 4 shades darker than my actual colouring -- I need the concealing. Rimmel's Hide the Blemish was my first concealer and for this reason, it has a special place in my heart. It is not the best thing in the market, and the colour that I have (103 Soft Honey) is a bit too beige for my skin, but it works just fine. I have found for my scars, using a slightly deeper/warmer concealer works because it cancels out the darkness a bit; but I have to blend it well to match my foundation so that I don't look like I have a variation of chicken-pox still undiscovered by scientists. Of course, I forgot to take a picture of the essential part of a project pan, which is a picture showing my progress of use! Soz.

L: one swipe of Maybelline 20 Sand and Rimmel 103 Soft Honey; R: Blended

Maybelline Fit Me concealer (20 Sand) on the other had, was disappointing. I was so excited for this product because of the hype it has gotten and because the colour seems "yellow" enough for me. But I found the formula too creamy, unsuitable for my oily skin. When blended, it turned out to be a bit darker than Rimmel's Soft Honey. On my scars, it draws attention to the pigment it was supposed to cover, which is a no-no in my book. I have a little bit of it left, but have decided to throw it out. Most likely will not repurchase.

Vaseline Rosy Lips and Bourjois Bronzing Primer. When will you go away?

It has been a slow progress trying to use up my Vaseline Rosy Lips and Bourjois Bronzing Primer. The former is just horrendous, really, I dislike the waxy feeling on my lips when I use it, and I find myself minding this even if I'm just going to bed (I wear it every night). I'm giving this away to my friend, Q, who also happens to be the only person I know reading this blog. (HI Q! *waves enthusiastically*) I'm still keeping the bronzing primer seeing how summer is upon us. I'll be mixing it with my moisturizer, or another primer. My quick review of this primer: it's orange, it smells like chemicals that try to smell like chocolate and it has a velvety-primer texture. I am indifferent to it, sometimes borderline hate it because of how orange it makes me look. But I'm still keeping it around. For now.

GOOD BYE.
Bourjois Healthy Mix 52 Vanille; Bio-Oil; Superdrug Intensive Foot Cream; Maybelline Fit Me concealer 20 Sand

Stuffs I've finished (YEAY!!!!) are my Bourjois Healthy Mix powder in 52 Vanille, my Superdrug foot cream and honest to God, the most terrible invention ever, the Bio-Oil. I hate Bio-Oil with all my heart. Because in my teenage days I was told it works wonders for acne scarring, and then it doesn't, and I only stopped using after so many years of hoping it will work. I never doubted the product; there must be something about me that doesn't allow this thing to work its wonders. But it wasn't me! You were just terrible and shit, Bio-Oil. I hope to never see you again. Good bye.

That's my update and review for now. I'm still learning how to get the lighting right so that my swatches are somewhat useful, if not for others, for my own reference. And let us all take a minute to thank God; for I did not continue using Instagram filters and stick to natural lighting in my photos for this blog!